The Name Game
by bardsocko
Summary: When word got out that Naruto and Hinata's first baby was on the way, everyone in Konoha wanted to help them come up with a name. Too bad no one asked if the famous couple wanted help...[OneShot]


**Author's Note**: There is a slight degree of spoiler in what I have to say, so if anyone reading this refuses to read the manga until the anime catches up, I suggest you refrain from reading my note. Recent developments between Naruto and Sakura suggest a building of rapport between the two that may eventually lead into a canonical NaruSaku pairing. While I can't say I am not a little disappointed by this, I remind myself that Naruto is Masashi Kishimoto's story, and it's up to him to use his characters as he chooses. I also remind myself that he draws inspiration from very traditional artists/writers such as Toriyama Akira of Dragonball fame… That being said, I still believe there is room for NaruHina work. Of course, if you've been watching the anime fillers, it seems like every other episode is NaruHina fluff….

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Uzumaki Naruto yawned as softly as he could, easing himself out from under the covers, careful not to disturb his sleeping wife. When he glanced at her serene face, a smile that his former instructor once described as 'deliriously stupid,' exploded across his features. Married life suited Konoha's loudest and proudest Jounin, despite the illustriously perverted heritage of his apprenticeship to the legendary Jiraiya.

Unlike many of the other males his age, Naruto found absolutely nothing terrifying about the prospect of committing to a single person for the rest of his life. Throughout his youth and into his early adulthood, the blonde shinobi had been forced to shoulder the burden of the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon locked within him. Crushing loneliness and isolation were a daily fact in Naruto's life.

_In Hinata, Naruto had found someone who had braved the same self-doubt he had faced, and understood the inner-strength that made him special. In Hinata, Naruto had found the unconditional love that gave him—_

"Naruto-kun," Hinata interrupted his ruminations in a drowsy voice, "Going out to train again?"

"Sure am," Naruto replied in a whisper.

_In Hinata, he had found the unconditional love that gave him—_

"That's great Naruto-kun," Hinata continued as she snuggled herself under the covers more deeply, "But if you leave your sweaty clothes on the sofa again, you can forget breakfast. Understand?"

Naruto gulped nervously and voiced his agreement. Hinata smiled softly, her eyes still closed.

"Bye honey," he whispered, "Love you." Hinata's eyes opened a bit and she gave her husband a smile.

"Love you too."

Naruto turned to leave.

"Naruto-kun? Get some milk before you come back… The carton in the fridge spoiled yesterday."

_Unconditional love sure gave a lot of chores…_

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The sun was just beginning to rise as Naruto returned to the modest house he and Hinata shared. The exterior was done in the traditional whites and grays of the Hyuuga clan and thanks to Hinata's efforts, a well manicured rock garden greeted guests before the main entrance. Naruto minced his way through the garden on the flat topped stepping stones that guided visitors to the front door. Kicking his training sandals off, the blonde Jounin grinned to himself as he slid the door open.

Though he worked tirelessly to maintain good relations with the powerful clan he had married into, Naruto had made it clear from the outset that his family would maintain its own identity. Thus, instead of the stark white lettering of the Hyuuga crest that would normally hang over the door, a large black banner bearing an orange fox chasing its tail danced in the morning breeze directly over the door. Inside, Hinata's personal tastes swept away the traditional grays and blacks that were par for the course in the Main House compound. Warm browns and yellows dominated the living room while the kitchen and bedrooms were done in blue and white.

Carefully peeling off his sweat stained jump suit and placing it in the laundry basket, Naruto hefted the bag of groceries he had brought home and walked over to the kitchen. Various pictures from the couple's lives occupied spaces on shelves and on walls throughout the living room. Pausing to look at some of them, Naruto couldn't help but laugh as he relived some of those memories.

Of great prominence were the original group shots Naruto and Hinata had taken when they had first started out as genin. Standing between a brooding Sasuke and a perky looking Sakura, twelve year old Naruto grinned out at with a smile so big, his eyes were squeezed shut. In the picture next to that one, an extremely timid looking twelve year old Hinata seemed to peek out between Kiba and Shino with great trepidation. Naruto grinned the same big smile from his childhood as he moved on.

In another frame, Hinata sat in Naruto's lap, an extremely terrified expression on her face, in complete contrast to the wild eyed joy plastered on her husband's face. As part of their honeymoon, the couple had been invited to stay with the Kazekage, who was adamant about introducing them to one of his favorite past times: Sand Surfing. Gaara managed to get one picture of them sitting on the flying platform of sand before Hinata bailed out and refused to rejoin them.

Naruto poured the old milk down the sink before crumpling the carton and throwing it away. After placing the new carton in the refrigerator, he began toasting bread slices and took out a bowl of fruits he knew his wife favored for breakfast. Now that he thought about it, it was getting late, and Hinata took her position as Principal Instructor extremely seriously. Frowning, he started walking back towards the bedroom they shared when he heard sounds coming from the bathroom. Curiously, he made his way over and was horrified to find his wife retching rather violently into the toilet bowl.

"Hinata!" Naruto nearly screamed, "What's going on? Have you been poisoned? I'll go get Sakura!" He turned to dash out but was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard his name called out.

"Naruto," Hinata murmured softly, "There's no need for that…"

"You know how to deal with the poison? Oh thank God," the sweat pouring down the fox ninja's brow was starting to soak his undershirt as he knelt down beside his pale faced wife. "Did Sakura teach you?"

Hinata sighed to herself right before retching into the toilet bowl again. Numbly, Naruto started to pat her on the back, a concerned expression on his face. When she was done, Hinata accepted the towel Naruto handed her, carefully wiping her face before going to the sink to clean up.

"Hinata…," Naruto said in a dangerous voice, "When I find out who did this to you, I'll take care of them… that's a promise of a lifetime."

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata began in an exasperated voice, "_You_ did this me."

"Me? Are you crazy? Are you absolutely sure the poison is out of your system, Hinata?"

"Nobody poisoned me, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto took a step back from the sudden vehemence in his wife's voice. "So if nobody poisoned you, that means…"

"_Yes_ Naruto-kun," Hinata said with an expectant smile.

"You've caught the flu!" Naruto chided in a paternal sort of voice, "We better call the Academy to let them know you need a few days off. I'm sure Iruka and Suzume can cover for you in the meantime… Why are you making that face, Hinata?"

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Shizune grinned adoringly at the couple sitting in front of her. Hinata smiled contentedly, while Naruto had a dazed sort of bemusement plastered across his face. Setting her chart down, the medical Jounin took a chance to enfold both of them in a hug.

"I'm so proud of you two! In about nine months, the Uzumaki clan will gain its newest member!"

"So she's really…?" Naruto began in a dizzy voice.

"For the last time, Naruto!" Shizune burst out with some irritation, "Your wife is pregnant and is in wonderful health! You're going to be a FATHER!"

Naruto's face blanked out at that point and for a few tense seconds, it seemed he was going to pass out. Abruptly, he let out an earsplitting bellow of triumph. Multiple clouds of smoke filled the room as nearly two dozen Naruto clones popped into existence. Without preamble, they took off in every direction, startling patients, physicians, and just about anyone else they managed to crash into as they spread news of Hinata's pregnancy.

Hinata smiled tolerantly as her husband sat next to her, giving her an overenthusiastic shoulder rub, while one of his remaining clones tried to give Shizune a congratulatory pat on the derriere. The medical nin dodged out of the way and used a chakra scalpel on the clone. It exploded out of existence in a cloud of smoke.

"NARUTO!" An enraged, and altogether familiar voice screeched out from several wings down. This exclamation was followed by a large crash and the sound of multiple windows blowing out in a shower of glittering shrapnel. Several dozen explosions of smoke later, and Naruto's former comrade, the legendary medical nin, Haruno Sakura barged into the room, her green eyes resembling hardened jade.

"A dozen of your perverted clones groped me while I was performing a surgery! What the hell is going on!" The minute he caught a glimpse of Sakura's eyes, Naruto had jumped behind Shizune, and used her shamelessly as a human shield.

"But Sakura…. Didn't you hear what they were saying?" he practically whimpered from behind the exasperated medical Jounin.

"I'm sorry Naruto," the pink-haired woman replied with a razor sharp edge in her voice, "I was too preoccupied by the fact that a dozen of _you _had grabbed my ass. Pray tell, what _were_ they saying before I took the liberty of eviscerating all of them? And keep in mind… your ability to produce offspring hinges on your answer."

Hinata cleared her throat, prompting a sigh of relief from her husband. Like most of the other Konoha Jounin, Sakura adored the earnest and kind Hyuuga woman that had taken Naruto as her husband. If anyone could stave off his imminent physical harm, it was Hinata.

"Sakura-san, I would like to apologize for my husband's lack of consideration. You may do with him as you wish. He's already fulfilled his marital duty." Naruto blanched with shock at his wife's profound betrayal.

"You used me!" he accused with horror, "You just married me for my seed!"

Shizune started to giggle while Sakura's brow furrowed with thought. Abruptly, her eyes widened and she let out a shriek of her own, rivaling Naruto's shout decibel for decibel. By then, half of the available ANBU had converged on the hospital, led by Tsunade and Jiraiya.

"What is the meaning of all this?" Tsunade bellowed with more gusto than Sakura and Naruto combined. Her queries fell on deaf ears as she stormed into the examination room. Inside, she found a cacophony of congratulations by various patients and hospital staff that actually happened to hear the message Naruto's clones were trying to deliver. In the center of the congested room, Sakura was alternating between hysterical laughter and elated weeping as she bestowed hugs and kisses on both Hinata and Naruto.

"All right," the Fifth Hokage ground out crossly as a vein began to bulge over her brow, "Everyone out…. NOW!" The examination room cleared out with remarkable alacrity until only Naruto, Sakura, Hinata and Shizune remained. Jiraiya began to chuckle, but was brought up short by a quick glance in Tsunade's direction.

The Fifth Hokage cleared her throat pointedly and massaged the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger.

"Now then," she ground out into the tense silence, "Naruto, I'm thinking you had better give me one good reason to let you stay in this hospital. Based on the damage your little entourage of clones caused, you owe Konoha several dozen missions free of charge!"

"Tsunade-sama…" Hinata, Shizune, and Sakura began in conciliatory tones, but were interrupted by Naruto's outburst.

"Granny! I'm gonna be a dad!"

Tsunade stared at her successor for nearly a minute. The yellow haired Jounin frowned uncertainly under her scrutiny. Slowly, a big grin spread itself from ear to ear on the Hokage's face. Wordlessly, she walked over and planted a kiss on Naruto's cheek. Then she embraced Hinata with a soft word of congratulations. Shizune and Sakura swiped at their misting eyes while Jiraiya made gagging noises.

"It's about time," the Fifth said with a twinkle in her eye. She paused dramatically before turning to regard the parents-to-be with a hungry grin.

"So," she mentioned casually, "Have you decided on a name yet?"

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Hinata stared at the scroll that Naruto held in his trembling hands. A scroll by itself would have been innocuous, however, the scroll that her husband was examining extended from his hands and went on for several yards before ending piled up against their front door.

"You did _what_?" she asked incredulously as her husband continued to stare at the scroll. He looked up with glossy eyes, unable to bring an answer to his lips. The Hyuuga Jounin walked towards Naruto, her pale eyes promising violence.

"Hold on, Hinata," Naruto pleaded as he backpedaled away from her, nearly tipping over a celadon plate they had received from the Hidden Stone. The petite woman ignored his antics, pinning him against the wall and ripping the scroll out of his hand.

"I can explain," Naruto winced as he felt Hinata's hot breath against his throat, "Well, actually… I don't suppose I really can, but that's sort of beside the point—_urk_!"

"Naruto-kun," Hinata growled as she tightened her grip on the most delicate part of her husband's anatomy, "I am going to count to three. If you haven't given me a rational explanation by then, the child in my womb is the only child you and I will be sharing. Am I expressing myself clearly?" To emphasize her point, she squeezed a little, digging in with her nails. A most undignified squeal escaped her husband's lips.

"Everyone-wanted-to-name-our-child-and-I-didn't-know-what-to-do-so-I-told-them-to-write-it-down-and-before-I-knew-it-Sakura-had-dropped-_this_-off!" Naruto's blurted confession spilled out in a tangled heap. Hinata gasped with shock and she stepped backwards, releasing the Kyuubi ninja, who collapsed to the floor, sweating profusely.

"Why did you think it was appropriate for other people to name our first child?" she demanded in a hurt voice, "That sort of decision is an extremely personal one that should be between you and me." Naruto grimaced and picked himself off the floor.

"I really didn't mean to let it get out of hand like this," he murmured as he pulled the pouty Hyuuga Jounin into his arms. She struggled against his embrace for a moment before giving in with a weary sigh.

"You can be so thoughtless sometimes," she grumbled into his chest, "I thought you and I both agreed that communication was one of the most important aspects of this relationship." Naruto grinned as he rubbed her back idly.

"We did agree, and I you can't deny that I communicate with you all the time."

"Communication is a two-way path, Naruto-kun," Hinata pointed out with a martyred sigh, "You have to _listen_ as well as talk…"

"Yes, dear," Naruto replied glibly.

"Don't make me kick your butt again, Naruto-kun," she warned with a glimmer in her eye, "I'll do it if I have to."

"First of all," Naruto exclaimed in an outraged voice, "You took advantage of my feelings during that fight. Second, you couldn't hurt me even if you _were_ strong enough."

"Oh?" Hinata ground out in a dangerous voice, "And why's that?"

"Simple," he replied with a grin, "You love me too much." He finished by taking his outraged wife in his arms and proceeded to give her a long kiss which left her gasping for breath. Hinata glared at her husband before allowing him to gather her up in his arms again.

"Fine," she murmured to him as he rested is chin on the top of her head, "But our child's name is something you and I decide on…. NOT what your friends want… is that understood?"

"Yes, dear."

"And you're going to deal with explaining it to everyone."

"Yes, dear."

"Well," she said with a coy glance towards their bedroom, "Are you coming?"

Naruto gulped eagerly as he followed his sauntering wife towards their bed.

"Yes, dear."

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It was early the next morning when Rock Lee burst into Naruto's tiny office without bothering to knock. The famous pupil of Maito Gai flashed his childhood friend a smile so blindingly bright, that Sakura had once quipped Lee's mouth was a form of genjutsu. Naruto returned the smile with slightly less gusto, since he wasn't looking forward to what was coming next.

"The bonds of holy matrimony become you, Naruto," Lee declared with a thumbs-up, "And I think impending fatherhood has reinvigorated your youthful spirit!"

"Erm… thanks, Lee," Naruto replied half-heartedly, "Listen, about those names you suggested…"

"You really needn't thank me, Naruto! The choices were clear without need for further examination. We are allies on the field of battle; it's only natural this friendship should extend onto other realms."

"Well yeah," Naruto said with a scratch of his head, "I'm not quite sure what you just said but--"

"So which will it be?" Lee interrupted with an enthusiastic pose, "Uzumaki _Lee_ or Uzumaki _Gai_?"

"Well, you see Lee… the thing is…," Naruto trailed off as he was skewered by Lee's wide-eyed stare of interest, "Uh… well, they're both such…inspiring names, we can't be sure of which one to go with…and Hinata mentioned that it could be a girl… so…"

"Ooooo!" Lee erupted as he furrowed his considerable eyebrows in deep thought, "You have brought up an excellent point, my dear comrade. It was terribly bad form of me to come up with names that don't take into account the fairer sex." Naruto sighed to himself, hoping for a reprieve so he could come up with a more polite way to refuse his friend's suggestions. Abruptly, Lee's round eyes lit up with enthusiastic fire and he crowed with delight.

"I've got it! Naruto, if it's a girl you have my permission to name her _Midori_!"

"Lee, that's a terrible suggestion," a female voice declared from the doorway.

"Like most of your ideas," a modulated, male voice agreed. Ten Ten and Neji stepped into the decidedly cramped office, brushing past their crestfallen teammate. Naruto groaned inwardly.

"Naruto's firstborn son needs a dignified name that befits the heir of a powerful new clan," Neji put in decisively, "The only name that could live up to such standards is the one of my most immediate progenitor." Naruto, Lee and Ten Ten glanced at each other.

"Your _what_?" Naruto asked with a confused frown. Neji cleared his throat quickly.

"Ahem… my father."

"_Hizashi_ if it's a boy," Ten Ten explained with a jaundiced look at her fiancée, "_Maruko_ if it's a girl." Neji coughed at her statement, eliciting an elbow from the kunoichi.

"I don't really think Maruko is a suitable name for the heir of the Uzumaki clan," Neji put in by way of explanation. Ten Ten stuck her tongue out at him.

"Tough. You couldn't come up with a good girl's name, so I exercised my female prerogatives." Neji glanced rolled his eyes with a helpless expression, eliciting a smirk from Lee and Naruto.

"Listen, guys…" Naruto began in a placating voice. Ten Ten cleared her throat pointedly. "Uh…and gals," he stumbled nervously, "The thing is…"

"Naruto!" Choji shouted, causing a shower of partially eaten food to plaster the gathered shinobi. Curses and shouts greeted the rotund Jounin as he squeezed into the already packed office. Brushing aside their complaints as if they weren't even there, the heavy hitter of Team Ino-Shika-Cho pushed his way to the front, followed by a curvaceous, blonde kunoichi.

"Did you think about the name I suggested?" Choji demanded as he munched on a bag of shrimp chips. Naruto wiped the flecks of processed food and saliva off his face.

"Choji, to be honest with you, _Nikuman _is a very interesting name…"

"But it also happens to be one of the stupidest suggestions in the history of lame ideas," Ino shouted in a shrill voice that caused the others to wince. The blue-eyed Jounin shoved her teammate aside and grabbed Naruto by the collar. She grinned at him with frightening eagerness.

"Naruto obviously went with the only name on the list worth more than the ink used to write it. _Right_, Naruto?" she said with a slightly clenched fist raised in front of him.

"Lee, what did I say about pigs and suggestions?" Sakura's mocking voice called from the doorway. Lee's eyes brightened at her prompt while Ino fumed.

"You said, 'A sow like Ino should take care of her own trough before digging around in other peoples' mud,' " the Jounin in the green tights quoted in a sage voice. Naruto started chuckling but couldn't finish because of the sudden force with which his face hit the top of his desk. Letting go of the back of Naruto's head, the enraged Ino made a beeline for Lee, who was looking a bit perplexed. Neji grunted a warning, but it came too late, as Ino's knee connected with Lee's most delicate parts. With a piteous whimper, the Taijutsu master crumpled to the floor. Choji grabbed his teammate at that point to prevent her from doing further harm.

"Forehead skank!" Ino screeched as she struggled in Choji's grasp. Sakura yowled her own rejoinder from behind Neji, who was half-heartedly restraining her. Paperwork and shelves were knocked over in the ensuing scuffle.

"Better a skank than a boar with tits!" Several more stacks of paper went tumbling to the ground as shouts of censure and encouragement filled Naruto's tiny office with a cacophony of confusion. The Kyuubi ninja balled up his fists and brought them crashing down on to his desk. The loud crackle of splintering wood combined with the tendrils of orange chakra that danced around Naruto got his audience's attention.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" he bellowed in a tone of voice that few got the chance to hear, "EVERYBODY OUT… NOW!"

His office cleared out quickly, and Naruto noticed with some sour amusement that Ino and Sakura both exchanged nervous glances. He followed them out into the empty hallway which had emptied of people as soon as they heard Naruto's voice. Directly across, Shikamaru was in the process of closing the door of his office. He gave Naruto a wry sort of scowl which managed to convey both empathy and irritation at the same time. Naruto gave him a brief salute and took a moment to compose himself before his expectant audience.

"Listen, Naruto…" Sakura began in a worried voice.

"We didn't mean for this to happen," Ino put in nervously.

"Everyone is extremely excited about your first child," Neji explained calmly, "If our enthusiasm has become an inconvenience…"

"Listen, all of you," Naruto interrupted in a calmer but no less intense voice, "Hinata and I understand all the concern you have for our child…. But we both agreed that family matters would remain just that… _family _matters. So while your suggestions are certainly appreciated, we would like to keep the decision between ourselves."

There was a long pause as the gathered shinobi absorbed his words. Naruto winced inwardly and wiped away the sudden droplet of sweat that popped up on his brow.

"So…" Sakura chimed in with a smile, "I guess you guys already have a name…?"

"Erm… Well…"

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"Naruto?" Shizune's quiet voice cut through the haze of slumber that had started to envelope the blonde shinobi. He jerked upright, upending the scroll he had been reading as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital. The medical kunoichi smiled affectionately as she watched Naruto wipe the sleep out of his tired eyes. Concern for his wife's health had made Naruto insufferable in the delivery room and after a particularly heated exchange with Sakura, he had been banished outside by Hinata.

"Is… is… uh, everything…?"

"Congratulations," Shizune replied with a big grin, "Why don't you go and greet the first new member of the Uzumaki clan?" Naruto stood up and quietly snuck over to the room from which Shizune had emerged, careful not to wake the people still slumbering in the adjacent chairs.

Ten Ten was asleep on Neji's shoulder, while Lee had somehow managed to find slumber standing up. Across from them, Ino had made use of her two teammates as cushions, resting her legs and feet in Chouji and Shikamaru's laps. Shino sat ramrod stiff, though his rhythmic breathing indicated his light doze. On the floor, Kiba had curled up with Akamaru, snoring loudly. Naruto gave his friends a broad smile, then opened the door of the delivery room and stepped inside.

Hinata sat in bed, clutching a small bundle of soft blue cloth, cooing to it softly. Sakura stood next to her, filling out some final paper work, a weary but content expression on her face.

"Are you ready to meet your son, you big jerk?" Sakura inquired in a playful voice as she set the chart down and checked Hinata's temperature. Naruto blushed slightly.

"Uh… Sakura… about what I said before…" The pink haired kunoichi laughed amusedly and walked over to her former teammate and enfolded him in a tight hug.

"Congratulations, you idiot," she said into his ear, "I've gotta go make rounds with Tsunade now. Sasuke will be by to pay his respects later so don't wander off too far." Laughing to herself, she walked out of the room and shut the door. Naruto turned and made his way to his wife's bed side. She looked up from their dozing son and gave him a radiant smile.

"So this is our son…" Naruto said in an awed voice.

"Yes Naruto-kun," Hinata said with a twinkle in her eye, "Although, I think _I_ did most of the hard work." Naruto gave her a kiss on the forehead and embraced his new family.

"Welcome to the Uzumaki clan," he murmured to his son. After several minutes, he tore his eyes away and looked up at Hinata quizzically.

"So uh… what name are we going to go with?" Hinata giggled softly and crooked her finger. Naruto leaned in and she whispered into his ear. Abruptly, a giant grin spread on his face and he gave her a proud thumbs-up.

"That's perfect!"

"What's perfect?" Ino asked curiously. Naruto and Hinata both looked up. Everyone stood in the doorway, eager expressions on their faces. Naruto turned around and puffed out his chest.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet my son. His name is……..."

THE END

Author's Note: A few things about the names I came up with. As I'm sure most of you are aware, the names of almost all the Naruto characters tend to have some kind of word-play associated with them. (Haruno Sakura Spring Cherry Blossom, Umino Iruka Dolphin of the Sea, Uzumaki spiral or vortex, Naruto maelstrom or a special topping on ramen noodles, etc., etc.) With that in mind, I tried to create names that have some resonance with the characters that suggested them.

-The joke is obvious when Lee wants Naruto to name his child after himself or Gai. When he suggests Midori as a girl's name, I was using Midori from 'Midori iro'… the color green; Lee's favorite color.

-Ten Ten's girl name suggestion is a little more complicated. Ten Ten's name sounds Chinese, but it also derives from a Japanese grammar notation which creates different sounds in the Japanese phonetic alphabet. For example, the application of a 'ten ten' to Japanese syllables with 'h sounds' changes them to 'b sounds.' 'Ha' becomes 'Ba', 'Ho becomes 'Bo,' and so on. When she suggests Naruto name his child Maruko, I was using another Japanese grammar notation. The application of a 'maru' to syllables with 'h sounds' changes them to 'p sounds.' The addition of '-ko' at the end is a traditional suffix for girls' names in Japan.

-Chouji's suggestion, Nikuman, is simply derived from the word for meat buns, a common fast food in Japan.


End file.
